Inattentive Bridesmaids in Church Wedding

I suppose the wedding today was marked with too much inattentiveness. I don't know if it was a case of daydreaming, lack of preparedness, apathy, or just plain ignorance.

Or maybe it's all of the above.

Missing the cues for action could have be averted simply by observing and paying attention. Listening to what is being instructed certainly helps.

The Inattentive Groomsmen

In addition to the Best Man, there were nine groomsmen there. The only real major ones are the secondary sponsors made up of the Candle, Veil and Cord sponsors.

During the marriage rites, none of these groomsmen were paying attention. They thought it was cool time to put on sunglasses as they took pictures of themselves or "groupies" and "selfies" with a cellphone. They weren't using cellphones to text or call, but to take photos instead.

Nobody seemed to mind. The priest was busy officiating the wedding ceremony to even notice what's going on behind the couple. Maybe proper church behavior (at a wedding at that!) is a demeanor way beyond these young men.

The Inattentive Choir

As I expected, the head mother-butler motioned me to assist in the offertory. True enough, the offerors had gifts in the form of goodies in extra big baskets. The priest asked the offerors to pass the gifts to the wedding couple so the bride and groom would offer the gifts. The baskets were heavy, and the mother-butler groaned as she passed one basket to me.

The rain on the parade, or shall I say, the (offertory) procession, was the choir. Nobody was singing the offertory song! This was even until the offerors have reached the priest. It was only when the priest reminded them via his microphone that they sang. I couldn't imagine though how none of choir members remembered to sing. At that point, the singers were all standing - maybe READY to sing. The musician who I believe was the choir leader was still sitting though.

The Inattentive Bridesmaids

It was the confusion with the bridesmaids though that took the cake in this wedding.

Just like the groomsmen, there were many bridesmaids, apart from the Maid-of-Honor. There were nine of them, but only three were the secondary sponsors - the Candle, Veil and Cord. The secondary sponsors tasks were in that order: Candle, Veil and Cord. I really thought that ladies, especially those who love attending weddings, knew that already.

Still, right after the offertory procession, I gave instructions for the tasks to be carried in the correct sequence. First, I called out the Candle sponsors who lit the candles. Then I called out the Veil sponsors to come forward and put the veil.

Well, not quite. When I looked up from reading my script, it was the Cord sponsors who were at the wedding couple! They were actually about to put on the Cord. I was horrified and immediately called out for the Veil sponsors TWICE. And, yes, that Cord pair was visibly confused.

The script actually just mentions calling all three pairs at the same time to do their tasks. I do know though that these pairs expect wedding photos showing them doing their tasks individually. It really would look chaotic to have all three pairs right there in front.

Lessons Learned

  • Do give the cellphone reminder before wedding mass - regardless. It may actually prompt members of the entourage to shut off their phones. By shutting off their phones right at the start, and being aware of the proceedings, they probably would be less tempted to take photos - selfies or groupies - while the marriage ceremony is going on. Maybe.

  • Watch what the lady secondary sponsors are bringing to the wedding couple. Yes, it's the bridesmaids who are bringing the veil and cord. It's not safe to assume that the wedding secondary sponsors actually know what they are doing and when.